Almost
by Lady Dudley
Summary: As long as she made Michael happy, she was happy." Jackie's POV on Michael proposing to Gemma. Slight angst. Chpt. 2 added.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yet another _Gingerbread_ fanfic, I'm sorry, but that episode (and _Hellfire_) is such a good Michael/Jackie episode. Anyways, this is another one that was just sitting on my computer. Basically it's my view on how Jackie felt about Michael proposing to Gemma. The italics are direct quotes from the episode.**

**Hope it's not too awful!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**_Almost_**

"_I think he's in love"  
_"_Like someone else I know"_

She hadn't meant to sound so bitter about it. Not really. She had just been annoyed that she'd wasted so much time stuck in that house waiting for that dog to move; all for nothing.

Now she sat at home, alone, trying not to think about what Michael was doing at that very moment.

"_It's more romantic this way"_

He'd said that as he showed her the ring he was going to give to That Woman.

She had no doubt Michael would be romantic. He could be very charming when he wanted to be, like when he tried to get her to do something for him. She never told him she'd do it anyway, in fact she rather enjoyed the attention as he tried to charm her.

She wondered if he'd get down on one knee; she hoped That Woman appreciated just how lucky she was.

Not that she was jealous; she was just worried about him. There was something about That Woman she just didn't trust. She worried that Michael was more interested than she was, that he would get hurt.

Who was she kidding?

She was worried that she'd lose him. He had all ready begun to pull away.

"_Just a colleague?"  
_"_Just"_

She'd heard them speaking as she'd walked away and Michael classifying her as 'just a colleague' hurt more than she cared to admit. She had thought she meant more to him than that.

Now it seemed she was wrong. She was 'just a colleague' whilst That Woman, who had walked out of his life years ago, was his best friend.

But she wasn't jealous.

No, not jealous. She couldn't be jealous; that would just be silly. He was a good friend, nothing more. _That_ was why his words had hurt her, why she was worried she'd lose him.

It was a good explanation.

Though it didn't explain why it made her sick just thinking that he was going to marry Her. It didn't explain why when he left her the other night in favour of That Woman it had stung.

It also didn't explain why she didn't like Her.

At all.

She had taken some comfort in the fact that Jim Taggart didn't seem to like her either, then she could pretend that it was just one of those things. But then he had warmed up to her and actually seemed to like her now.

Traitor.

Well, if That Woman was what Michael wanted then she would just have to learn to like her. As long as she made Michael happy, she was happy.

Almost.

----

**A/N: I was considering adding the next day, but I'm not sure. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So I decided against doing the next day and instead did Michael's POV of the night :)**

Michael was devastated.

He felt hurt, used, betrayed and not a little angry.

To say that Simon was the last person he wanted to see on his doorstep that evening would have been an understatement. Well, perhaps not the last person, he reflected, having Jim Taggart witness his humiliation would have been pure torture. As it was Michael dreaded having to face him the next morning and explain what happened.

"_I'm all ready engaged"_

The words had been like a slap in the face. He still couldn't quite wrap his mind around that concept: that he had simply been a fling. She had 'never meant for him to get hurt,' he would _love_ to know how she had planned to pull that off.

Though perhaps the greatest wound had been to his pride, how was he going to able to face everyone tomorrow and explain that he'd not only been rejected but duped? He couldn't believe that after all their history together he still knew so little about her, and she didn't know him at all. How could she think he wouldn't take it seriously?

He eyed the phone that sat nearby, contemplating calling Jackie. He needed someone to talk to and he knew that she would be unfailingly sympathetic. She was a good listener and he could take some comfort in the fact that _she_ knew him and would understand.

That was another thing that had rankled, how Gemma couldn't seem to grasp the fact that he was angry or even understand why he was. _How selfish could someone be?_ he mused.

He had loved her once, had thought he loved her still, but this revelation had caused that love to melt away like snow. He had never loved Gemma, just loved the woman he had thought she was.

Again he eyed to phone, if he had been so mistaken in Gemma was it possible he was mistaken about Jackie as well? He shook the thought away, almost as quickly as it had come. He had seen Jackie at both her best and her worst and found something to admire in her in both states.

He picked up the receiver, perhaps he _would_ call Jackie. He was in desperate need of her understanding and dry humour. He was about to begin typing in her number when he noticed the time.

12:00am.

Probably not the best idea to wake her now, he decided, replacing the receiver. Besides, he didn't want to run the risk of Simon, who was sleeping in the next room, overhearing his conversation. He was essentially a private man, yet another reason to dread going in to work tomorrow and having his private life put on display.

He would talk to Jackie tomorrow, he decided as he climbed into bed.

That decision made he drifted off into a fitful sleep.

----

**A/N: Well, the title was supposed to refer to the last line of the first chapter but I guess now it's more relevant to what "almost" happened :)**** ttfn! xo**


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